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I did something sooo bad and it felt soooo good, that I want to do it again.........and again.
I want to be crazy, obbessively, madly, unhealthy, sex crazed in love.

I want the way I feeled about Mohammad three fold.  And I want it reckless, a complete mess that I cannot do with out.  Is that too much to ask?

I want him to be modern, a little into the indie scene with a twist of classic taste, clean, smells like Bvglari's Aqua, wear tight t-shirts with a hint of design, decorates, enjoys good wine, better food, and the perfect vodka, I want him to drive me places unexpected and in hotels full of fun....I want us to be drunk in the W hotel in San Diego, try to play chess, swin in the pool full of lasers, and make love on the edge of the window on the highest floor with the window open.  I want him to smoke and drink coffee just to pass time.  I want him thin, but framed, I want black eyes, black hair, olive skin, intense look.  I want him to be private and mysterious.  I want him jealous.  I want him to look at me at the end of the night, when I'm drunk and looking close to a crack whore then the goddess I was at the start of the night, and I want him to kiss me and tell me I'm beautiful.  I want him to dance with me when I want him to.  I want him to hold me, to tell me to stay the night and not leave until he wakes up.  I want him to kiss me in a crowded room, to push me against the wall and hold my wrists so hard they bruise.  I want him to have good taste, to choose gifts with glamor.  I want him to have short trimmed hair.  I want his walk to be girlish, his mannerisms even more so, and his laugh to never be fake.  I want to be adored.

Is that too much to ask?
I am single.  Time to color my hair.

Jul. 3rd, 2007

It is unbarely hot in Orange County.  I have have drank so much water these days, my skin should be a reflection of perfection....though that is not the case, proving my no bases of proof theory that soda does not give you zits.  I have however, lost 7 pounds due to the lack of sugar in take I suppose.  Mohammad is in Spain again.  Not like it matters, but they guys all went there for a big wedding and I'm starting to get jealous that I'm not married.  Not saying that I'm ready for it, I just want to buy a dress in all honest truth.  

Oh, Abdul asked to marry me.

I said no I'm in school still.

I have a hard time picturing myself in Saudi as a wife.

To add to the drama Dad has allowed me back into MY HOUSE that my evil step mother got me out of.  She of course, is not happy that I'll be returning, but I"m happy cause I miss how clean everything is.

Happy 4th of July everyone, btw, go eat a hot dog and pass out in the heat!
So I've been kicked out of the house for those of you that have not been updated on this.  How it happened is a long story.  The short end of it is that my stepmother is from hell basically.  So I am living with...........Abdul.  Something that I don't like that much, but has to be done due to the fact that I'm looking for place.  Other than that, Mom is moving here.

IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU GUYS CALLED ME!


Fahad is the one sitting, lol.  I still think he's a nice guy, I think he was just horny or something....

So last night Nassir, Anas, Abdul, Farhad, and me went to an arabic club in LA.  We had fun, and Abdul was selected as the one to drive back because we were all sleepy.  So I sat in the back in the middle, since I'm the smallest....  Well Farhad's hand ended up under me, and I told him sorry cause I thought I sat on his hand, and when I tried to lift up so he could remove it, he pushed me back down, pulled back my g-string, and well, you know.........

As my boyfriend was driving my car, and his brother was next to me!

I didn't know what to do, I didn't even know he liked me like.........that.  And all I could think about was how was I going to remove his hand without the guys knowing and without insulting him.  So I tried to make everyone focus on him so he would lose his nerve.....well, he didn't, he just did it harder.   And I know it's bad to say, but I was kinda amazed he had the nerve to do it.  And I'm not mad about it, I'm like confused.  I feel like I cheated on Abdul, and I think I did....

And now I can't even look Fahad in the eyes, cause I know that he wants to......with me...

I dunno, and now I'm really nervous cause I asked Anas if he knew if Abdul's friends had a crush on me, and he told me everyone has a crush on me....so now I'm super nervous.........

I dunno.......

Mohammad followed me from 8 pm to 4am Thursday night.....

And now I miss him....

Bastard.

So my brother and I have left the house due to my step mother's over reaction to the illness we managed to catch.  (skin mites, which have now been treated and were caught due to one of our friends vactioning in Mexico).  So long story short, we've both sacked up at Abdul's house until we move into our new apartment in two weeks.  Vila Sena I think.  Were Mohammad lives, so that should be interesting.

As a result of this depressing period I have actually just stopped partying.  I've lost just all desire because now my main goal is to trade in the mercedes for the 08 version of my car.  LOL. It's 199 on lease!!!! I cannot believe that, I'm paying $600.

I'm so sleepy.  Mainly to the medical treatments I've been enduring the last week.  Which has helped me lose a few pounds because it made me sick because it literally is poison.  

On top of that, I got my period today.  So I'm trying to stay calm.  I'm on the edge of a complete freak out, but I'm trying to say it's fine.  Once I get the new car, my life style, which as we all know, is a tad bit of a princess mode, will be okay.  

The car will be white on camel.  Cute cute.  I chose the color cause it matches my sunglasses.

Two more semesters till I'm done with school, for now that is.  

Nassir got arrested from emagration due to lack of attendance at school.  Hard lesson learned I guess.  Though it cost Abdul and Thamer $2000 to get him out, not counting the gas to drive 12 hours.

I'm glad he's back though, the house seemed so depressing with his smile.

I'm tired.

I hate being sick.

I can't wait to go to Vila Sena



So the above two pics are of Envy Utralounge that we went to on Suday.  You guys, it's awesome! It's brand new and no one knows about it.  I met the owner, the djs, the bouncers, and even Laura the bartender, asked me out on a date, then I introduced her to my bf, but still, I was so flattered cause she's beautiful.

So this is where I have decided to party at.  It's safe, away from the Saudi's, and for the time being, ALL MINE!

Here's Laura



Here hair is black now, which is much prettier on her.

So yes, Friday I went to Sutra for Thamer's birthday and at the end of the night I got into a fight with this white guy and Slapped his face.  He didn't really deserve that, but I was mad because girls kept hitting on Abdul and he wasn't doing a good job at turning them down.

Saturday I went to an Asian party with Crystal at a beach house, it was beautiful and cheap too, for the whole weekend you could rent it for $1100.  That's less than a VIP table you get for only 4 hours.

I've also decided it's either time to get rid of the Benz or trade it in for a lower payment, cause I'm paying what I would pay for rent (actually, more then rent) on my car.  And I can get the 2008 C 230 for $199 a month.  Right now I'm paying $650 a month for my 2006 C230.

I didn't go shopping this weekend, or the beach.  I got annoyed with Abdul cause his apartment is super messy, but I tried to stay calm.

I have realized I'm a very angry person.  Mainly because I'm bossy.  And on Friday, everyone was talking about how I'm preppy, and I didn't feel insulted at all.  If I'm being preppy by VIPing my life, that so be it.  Flash me that polo and let's bet a thousand on a round of golf and see what happens.

Speaking for betting, Vegas is soon.  I've been working on my black jack because I plan on making my $20 last a few hours.  Last time I made $700 from $20.  Course I lost $400 of it, but up $200 isn't bad, I took my brother out to an excellant resturant from that.

Okay, I'm bored, enough of this.